Pamela Haag sends two recent columns from the Big Think magazine, where she writes a column twice a week:  "Top Ten Relationship Words that are Untranslatable into English" and "Marriage According to....Google" 

Category: Family Matters Blog

Tags: relationships, sex, marriage, marriage confidential, pamela haag, Google searches, love

Most will agree that being friends after a relationship is difficult as the question of ulterior motive and resentment can hover in the clouds.  If friendship is in the cards it requires clear boundaries, a very understanding new partner and an ability of both parties to take responsibility and be accountable to the outcome of their relationship. The truth is that if two people who once were lovers can be friends there can be a comfortable and enduring trust that can serve to help  lay the foundation for new relationships and the future.  There is really  not that much difference if the relationship was one of cohabitation, marriage or simply a long term partnership when it comes to the matters of the heart.

Category: Family Matters Blog

"Trailblazer” isn’t a term often associated with divorce professionals. With the divorce rate hovering around 50 per cent, and over a million children annually experiencing their parent’s divorce, it is critical that couples understand the impact of divorce on families, children, the individual and society.

What I find most astounding is that the divorce rate rises with subsequent marriages (http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/divorce-myths-debunked/a/30888) – this only demonstrates that people are not learning from their mistakes, and/or not taking the time to understand their own needs and expectations. Divorce education is imperative. It’s easy to see why divorce has spawned a lucrative industry. Continued...

Category: Family Matters Blog

Tags: brownstone, deborah-moskovitch, family-matterst, smart-divorce

I am both proud an honoured to be a guest on Family Matters with Justice Brownstone. This is by far one of my most informative and personal interviews; Justice Brownstone digs deep as I share my research and lessons learned so that anyone can have The Smart Divorce. He also delves into my own divorce journey, so that viewers are empowered with information and knowledge. Tune in tonight, October 4, at 10:30pm on CHCH TV.

If you are interested in learning more about The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit ,which Justice Brownstone speaks so highly of, please email info@thesmartdivorce.com for more information.

Category: Family Matters Blog

Tags: divorce, smart, tool-kit

By the Honourable Justice Harvey P. Brownstone

We are all aware that the single most important area of law that touches more people's lives than any other is family law. This is because family breakdown has reached epidemic proportions in North America, due in part to the facility and speed with which the multiplicity of social networking websites on the internet have enabled people to embark upon and terminate relationships. In recent years, family courts across the continent have become clogged with an avalanche of unsuccessful short-term relationships – relationships that were just long enough to produce a child. There is every reason to assume that this trend will continue as more and more people choose to engage in intimate relationships with partners they barely know.

Despite the widespread incidence of relationship breakdown, most people I encounter in my courtroom are remarkably ignorant of even the most basic principles of family law. The fact that in most major centers in Canada, up to 70% of all family court litigants are self-represented, only makes the problem worse. And the fact that a great number of family court cases involve vulnerable children caught in the middle of high conflict parental disputes, makes the situation urgent for the parents and children involved...

Read More

Category: Family Matters Blog

Tags: article, brownstone, cba, tug-of-war

At MacLean family Law Group www.bcfamilylaw.ca we as Vancouver divorce and family lawyers have handled a number of spousal and child support retroactive cases including an interim retroactive support award case called J v J . Our client was ecstatic when we obtained one of the highest interim awards of spousal and child support for our client which approached $30,000 per month combined, together with substantial retroactive child support.

We have also represented numerous clients where we have sought to retroactively correct child support upward to reflect increases in the paying spouses incomes as well as to retroactively correct downward support based on a paying spouse’s lower income on the basis that the paying spouses should pay support on the proper income under the guidelines.

If you want to correct spousal or child support retroactively call us at any of our 4 offices province wide or fill out our contact form so we can begin to assist you.

A good summary of the obligations each spouse has in this area can be found at the Justice Canada website Continued...

Category: Family Matters Blog

Tags: bc-child-support-lawyers, bc-retroactive-child-support-lawyers, changing-csg-child-support-in-canada, csg-child-support-in-canada, decrease-child-support-canada, family-matters-tv-child-support, increased-child-support-canadada, judge-brownstone-retroactive-child-support, justice-brownstone, lorne-maclean, retroactive-child-support-guidelines-child-support, vancouver-child-support-lawyers, varying-bc-child-support

Pamela Haag, author of Marriage Confidential and a guest on Family Matters TV, has just started as a weekly column on "Marriage 3.0" at The Big Think magazine. The column looks at the triumphs, difficulties, and curiosities of 21st-century marriage. The Big Think recently scored a position as Time magazine's #1 website source for news and information. You can read her first, and future, columns, at this site.

Category: Family Matters Blog

Tags: big-think, marriage-confidential, pamela-haag

Lorne MacLean of the MacLean Family Law Group whose website is at www.bcfamilylaw.ca enjoys providing the public with free legal information and lauds Judge Brownstone and producer Nancy Kinney for their important work in democratizing the law and bringing important information to people who are facing the stormy seas of marriage breakdown with their outstanding legal reality show FAMILY MATTERS TV. MacLean is in high demand as a speaker and author of numerous articles on family and divorce law. Here is MacLean's very popular article on protecting yourself before and during a divorce or marriage breakdown. If you have questions he can be reached at lorne@bcfamilylaw.ca .

If you are considering or are at the start of a marriage breakdown or separation you need to take immediate steps to protect yourself and the first thing you should do is contact a good family attorney and spend 30 minutes or more with them getting a summary of your basic rights and obligations. We feel the initial consultation is likely the most important part of starting a case and likely the best money you can spend early on in a case. People have so many misconceptions and can accept or make unfair offers based on anecdotal opinions from well meaning but often "legally clueless" friends and family members.

Category: Family Matters Blog

Tags: best-canadian-divorce-lawyer-articles, canadian-divorce-lawyer-tips, canadian-divorce-tips-to-protect-yourself, financial-protection-during-divorce, high-net-worth-lawyer-lorne-maclean, lorne-maclean-and-family-matters-tv, lorne-macleans-divorce-tips, top-canadian-divorce-tips

I have been involved with helping clients put together prenups and while I agree that some form of pre marriage agreement is prudent if there are a lot of assets, we have gone overboard. The biggest problem is that prenups simply do not lay the foundation for a partnership. Take for example two people that go into a business together 50/50 and they both contribute in their way to the business but only one of the parties gets to keep all the benefits if they decide to part. I am guessing that very few people would entire that type of business arrangement. That is however the scenario that can be created with a poorly drafted prenup. Prenups are best left out of the lawyers hands until all the issues and scenarios have been discussed at which time they can paper the deal. Be very careful however as you may destroy the partnership before it begins. Marriage is about love, security, trust, commitment and faith and a poor prenup can kill the security, trust and commitment factor pretty easily.

Category: Family Matters Blog

Balance Needs VS Wants

There is a ton of pier pressure around back to school clothing and supplies. Make a list of their “needs” and agree that the children will get one or two of their “wants” met and then allocate a set dollar amount that they are free to spend.

Set Budget in Advance of Shopping

Before you venture into any store with the wondering eyes of your children set a non-negotiable budget. This is not just for their purposes but it is to keep Mom and Dad from caving into those pleading eyes.

Make a detailed list before you hit the stores

We know we should not go grocery shopping when we are hungry and the same rule applies when taking the kids for “back to school” shopping. Way too many temptations for even the strong willed.

Set Budget for extracurricular activities before you sign up

After school activities are an important part of a child’s development and while we want them to be involved, we need to balance activities with our ability to pay. Set a budget per child that covers lessons, equipment etc and then engage in a conversation with them and the other parent about allocation of resources before you sign them up. Kids will also take more ownership of their schedule this way as well.

Empower kids financially

We give children an allowance for “extra” things but consider providing them enough money so that they can learn to budget for the things they need as well. One of the big stresses in divorced families is the loss/damage of things that go back and forth. If starting around age 11, your child is responsible for their clothing budget then they will take ownership and amazingly - things all of a sudden do not seem to go missing.

Category: Family Matters Blog

A common sense trend to Resolving Matrimonial Issues

Finding yourself on the doorsteps of divorce is hard enough emotionally but add the multitude of decisions that are going to have to be made and it can feel completely overwhelming. While there are only two main areas for decision-making; kids and money, coming to resolution can take years and use up a lot of your hard earned wealth. While there is more of a trend towards mediation, many people still feel the need to hire top guns with the perception that their “rights” will be better attended served. In many cases on the pursuit of one’s “rights”, “best deal” or “win”, the cost associated with an unpredictable outcome does not justify the time or the means.

On the continuum of resolving divorce issues, on one end is Litigation and the other end, Mediation. Moving from one spectrum to the other you might find, arbitration, collaborative law, interest based mediation, and other hybrids all worthy of consideration. While there may be the perception that litigation is in fact “taking control” the opposite is usually true. The reality is that retaining a litigation lawyer sets in motion a series of applications, affidavits, court appearances that destroys assets and relationships. Litigation is prudent in some cases where the parties have pursued every other means to resolve their issues with no success. While the outcome with litigation may be “just” in the face of the law, it is often not “fair”. The judge has to use the information put forth by the lawyers and in the affidavits with the assumption that both parties are being truthful. We know this simply is not the case. Take for example, where one party is basically telling the truth and the other is not, the outcome will likely be somewhere in the middle as there is simply not enough time or resources to achieve the real picture. To seek litigation to either prove your point, make the other person pay or to assume the outcome will be a win for you is unfortunately naive.

It is best that you and your spouse make the final decisions about money and kids, regardless of whether you get along or not. Ensuring you are an empowered decision maker with financial and co-parenting knowledge is the best recipe for success. New mediation models like “Independently Negotiated Resolution” are process and results driven and ensure that both parties are well equipped to make decisions. While mediation has been traditionally thought of for only amicable couples, new innovated models can achieve resolution for conflicted families as well. The key is to keep your assets in your pockets and preserve relationships.

Category: Family Matters Blog

Category: Family Matters Blog

Tags: canadian-spousal-support-laws, canadian-spousal-support-video, ssag-lawyer

Lorne MacLean and all of the lawyers at the MacLean Family law Group are pleased to sponsor Family Matters TV as it powerfully leverages television and the internet to allow Judge Brownstone and other experts to share their free advice broadly and efficiently to the public.

As family law and spousal support lawyers with offices in Vancouver, Surrey, Kelowna and Fort St. John British Columbia we know that- how much spousal support should be paid and how long spousal support should be paid- is one of the most emotional issues clients face at the time of divorce and marriage breakdown.

Have you ever asked yourself the following questions:

• Will my spousal support always remain the same?

• Does the amount of child support I pay or receive affect the spousal support payment?

• If our children become financially independent adults, will the spousal support payment still remain the same?

The MacLean Family Law Group believes a better understanding of the Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines will help you answer these questions.

The Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines are used as informal but legally persuasive guidelines that assist spouses, lawyers, mediators and judges in determining the amount and duration of spousal support. While the Guidelines are not law per se, a series of cases in the BC and other Canadian Superior Courts from 2005 to 2011 make it clear that the Guidelines must be considered when making a decision on spousal support.

There are two basic formulas:

Category: Family Matters Blog

Tags: adult-children, bc-family-law-group, lorne-maclean, spousal-support, spousal-support-advisory-guidelines, ssag